Sunday, January 3, 2016

Not even frostbite at all

letting a body get too far into feeling bad like it's imaginary,
the body and the bad. And then the bad-feeling body creeps
in and starts speaking and won't stop, getting further into feeling bad
and showing it. Are these the only words there are, at the end, so
blunt and small? Who's going to quit drinking this year? What is it with quitting.
I want the body to feel better but it's feeling bad is justified only by feeling worse.
Did I hit my head? Am I a child? What is worse than not enjoying a whole day.
It's the world's greatest failure. Then if the body's feeling bad it might as well be the world's
greatest failure of a body. There might be worse, but do you know them? Not really.
If my success or failure is tied to my ability to enjoy a day then will I be a bad parent
or be bad at my job or jobs? Is it me I/we are talking about here? Is it the weather?
I am so overwhelmed, guys, I have a million ways to plan and they're all terrible.
How much power do I have? Bad or good? I'm really talking about me, here
but I'm not me talking.

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