demons one

a monster is eating my family

a pack of demons is in charge

a monster is eating my family using my parents eyes

to throw its poisons of hate

a monster is eating my family using my parents words

to say, get out, mind your own business, you think you know so much!

a monster is eating my family and using my love

to keep me raging, shouting to get my parents to hear.

my mother’s inbox is always full

with new messages from her friends

J Crew, Garnet Hill, CB2, Ikea, Macy’s!

to name a few of the ever growing enthusiastic crew

of bright optimists who are always there for her

when she takes a break at the office, when she gets home from work,

when her alarm goes off at 6am in bed.

it’s no wonder she’s happy to hear from them

and glad she can always turn away, from the 

hateful glance of her daughter, an ipad press away.

a monster is eating my family using my mother’s need.

once years and addresses ago I bought a pair 

of fancy underwear online, bottom half of a wedding 

shower gift and through all the moves and unannounced

changes of address, still every few months it greets me

a catalog of bone thin girls, standing by camels and blue-washed walls

looking lost and unhappy 

in the beautiful places where people can go

to wake up and fall in love. 

to set free people, my people or any people, including me,

is something the monster eating my family

loves for me to wish, a tasty thought for

this mouth to eat it: you pretentious entitled fool!

a pack of demons rules my childhood house (the one I live in now)

and here is one of its tricks:

in my heart it installed a thick metal cord and it gave the loop to my mom

so when I start to move away it turns and turns

until a spring is wound so tight

you can let go and I rush right back on my own!

a monster is eating my family and here’s one of its games:

if you’re three and coughing up 

handfuls of yellow phlegm

it’s better to play on mechanical cars at the mall

than stay in bed and rest

and if you dare to say otherwise you’re a terrible bitch!

and see if I ever let you be with my child again!

demons are eating my family and the salt that makes it all taste great

are the smiles and hugs of each beautiful kid

who doesn’t get to choose

to rest.